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I sometimes masturbated with a vibrator, never while watching porn. Sex in my 40s is unquestionably the best of my life. And I believe women also have a responsibility to show their partner how much pleasure they take in being with them, and to help create a kind of erotic complicity that is both tender and gentle. It seems exhausting and messy and unnecessary when you contemplate it, but then you get started and suddenly you want to move into the attic and lock the door and just lie there naked all the time. But by 45, my mantra was: Show 25 25 50 All. I lived in what Catholics call a state of impure thought.

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Miscarriage and postnatal depression hurt a lot, but so does the uncertainty of IVF or traumatic childbirth, for example.

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Women and desire: the six ages of sex

I experienced complete loss of libido overnight. And I believe that, perhaps for the first time, women my age are not afraid to fight this youth-obsessed culture and reclaim our sexuality. The demands of our life also mean there is absolutely no slack. Could that driving force post puberty, the all-consuming passion that kept us in bed all day and up all night be one of the devastating losses to be endured along the road? What will my 70s and 80s will bring?

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